How many times have you been walking around, minding your own business, when your friend’s eyes widen and they grab you, or give you the nudge or the “don’t look now, but…” and you know you’re in for a treat. You swing your head around to see what the fuss is about and you spot from across the room, the street, the café, what appears to be an angel. On second glance you realise, “oh wait no, it’s a human being”, but the best looking one you’ve ever seen, and you can’t stop staring. You are captivated, enchanted, spellbound. They take your breath away. Their skin sparkles with a beautiful, shiny, golden hue. Their eyes are deep and dark with lush, long lashes. They’re the perfect height, dress well, their hair glossy and thick. Their smile reveals a pristine set of white, pearly teeth. You fall head over heels, roly-poly-down-a-grassy-verge in love (lust). You start planning the wedding, what your fourth child’s name will be, where you’ll go for your winter getaway.
And how many times have you plucked up the courage to nervously approach said angel, began a conversation, been so excited to discover more about this phenomenal being and… been completely and utterly disappointed?
Because you find that beneath the flawless façade lies… nothing.
Now, you know me: I don’t like to generalise. But this happens far too often for me to pass it off as a coincidence. And don’t get me wrong, there are a handful of beautiful looking people in the world who are kind and generous and possess so many other wonderful qualities, but a large majority don’t. For a lot of beautiful people, the beauty stops at the surface.
And my hypothesis?
They think it’s enough; that being “aesthetically gifted” is sufficient and so don’t feel the need to invest in their personality as much as other people do because their looks are often what they get by on.
Think I’m being unfair? Let’s break it down and have a look.
When you’re good looking, you’re treated differently. This might be a bit controversial, but I’m gonna roll with it: it’s a lot easier to cruise through life being average looking. When your looks aren’t the first thing somebody notices about you, and snap decisions aren’t constantly being made about your personality or abilities based on your looks, life is easier. If, however, you look like some mythical god, you spend your life being either favoured or discriminated against because of that. You will either be adored by people or you will be despised and sabotaged because people are jealous and see you as a threat. I know people who got jobs because of their good looks, and I know people who have been turned down from positions for being “too good looking”. We all like to pretend like it’s 2017 and this kind of prejudice doesn’t go on anymore, but it is still happening all the time.
Think about it: how many attractive women have you seen and immediately thought “Oh I bet she’s a complete bitch though”, or been surprised when a good looking guy “actually ISN’T a dickhead.” It is assumed that anybody who looks that good can’t also be a good, kind person, or have any other qualities going for them, and so straight away they get judged and put in a box.
And because good looking people are treated differently, I find they tend to get a certain attitude about them. Imagine you are an exceptionally attractive individual (which you are, I love you). Maybe you don’t know you’re stunning, or maybe you do, but imagine the first thing you’re judged on, in any kind of situation, is your looks. Imagine every single guy or girl that you meet treats you with hostility because you look so damn good that they feel threatened. Or, on the flip side, imagine everywhere you go the only thing people see is how you look and they don’t care if you’ve got the personality of a teabag because they just want to get you in their bed. You get whatever you want and you get away with things because a little wink from you is enough to bend the rules. I think we’d all agree that being constantly subjected to this kind of attention from either end of the spectrum would make it very easy to adopt either a “fuck you” attitude because everyone you meet treats you like shit, or a “hahaha I’m better than you peasants” attitude because everyone falls at your feet when they see you. It would be easy to forget the importance of your personality and character if the world only ever seems to value you your beauty.
But either way, both attitudes suck. Being good looking, being in great shape, having the world’s shiniest hair or biggest butt does not excuse you from anything. It does not entitle you to anything. It doesn’t make you better than or superior to anybody else. It’s not “enough” that you look good. You’re not too good to speak to anybody or interact with anyone. You are not worth more. Your time is not more valuable than someone else’s. Looking great is important, and it’s fantastic to know that you look good and to be confident in yourself and love yourself, but please don’t confuse this with arrogance. Don’t confuse this with thinking you’re better. There are fewer mind-sets in the world more damaging or toxic than that of thinking you are superior to someone else. Even if you “earned” your looks, even if you trained for 3 years to look good in the gym does not mean you get to treat people differently.
So what’s the point in this post? What do I want you to take from this?
I want you all to detach the importance that you’ve put on how we look. I want you to realise that everything on the outside is trivial; that one day it will all be gone and you will need more than a pretty face to impress people. I want you to recognise that your intelligence, your humour, your kindness, your creativity is what makes you truly beautiful and will serve you far longer than any physical quality you have. I want you to spend more time working on these things. I want you to invest in your SOUL. I want you to aim to be more than good looking, to have more than abs or a big butt. I want you to look as good as you want, but not to let it be what defines you. I don’t want you to be remembered for looking beautiful, or for having a “sick” body. I want you to be remembered for making people happy and helping and bringing something to this world that no-one else can because it’s unique to you. I want you to do more. To make an impression. Make an impact.
And most of all, I want you to understand that nothing about you; your looks, your intelligence, your skills, makes you a better or bigger person than the one sitting next to you. There is not one soul on this earth worth more than another. We are all equal. Act like it.