WOAH, WE’RE GOING TO IBIZA.
And by we, I mean me, and by Ibiza, I mean Mallorca.
So, I just wanted to give you all a quick update on my life and the very exciting thing that’s happening right now. For those of you who haven’t been keeping up to date with my Instagram (@bonniebfit get on it), you’ll have missed that I’m off to Mallorca. And it’s not for a holiday. It’s for six months. THAT’S RIGHT BABY.
I study German and Spanish, and because I go to the best University in the world (shout out Glasgow Uni) and study two languages, that means I have to complete two COMPULSORY trips abroad. I already did my first one in 2015-16, where I did an internship in Austria followed by an internship in Berlin. And now, before I come back and do my final year at uni, it’s time to practise the español and head off to Spain until September, where I’ll be working as a social media and marketing intern for a yacht company in Mallorca. *sincerely tries to not be smug or overly excited but… I’M SO SMUG AND EXCITED.*
It’s a big change, and I honestly feel like I haven’t stopped for the past couple of months. From finishing up with 4th year, doing exams, handing in coursework; to organising my flat to be rented out, and moving everything back to my mum’s; all the while keeping up with friends and uni and the gym, it’s been pretty hectic. And now, I’ve packed my bags and I’m heading up to Edinburgh to spend the night with my beautiful family before I fly out tomorrow morning.
So, I haven’t really had a moment to think about it. My mum asked me last night how I feel about going, and I guess I’m a little bit nervous. It’s a very professional and established company that I’ll be working for, which in itself is always a little bit intimidating, let alone turning up somewhere completely new where you know nobody and have to settle into a new home and job and language and culture and source a new GYM (that’s never easy). It’s a lot of work.
But it’s moments like these, my friends, which are absolutely crucial in your growth, because each time that you experience fear, or anxiety, or discomfort, you learn a little more about yourself. You learn what you are capable and not capable of handling. You learn what you are willing and not willing to endure. You learn what makes you nervous, and what makes you genuinely scared. You learn how to make decisions by yourself, because you won’t always have someone there to guide you. You learn who the important people are in your life, because they are the ones who support you, and the ones that you miss the most. You learn and learn and learn. Every single time I travel, no matter where and no matter how long, I discover something new about myself. I grow a little. And I’m so excited to find out what I will learn this time.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not always smiles and rainbows. Whenever I go away, I think how easy it would be to just stay. To stay at home and keep on doing what I always do and continue with a comfortable, but limited, life. Because, it would be limited. I know it’s scary, I get that. I get that you’re afraid to make a change and do something new, especially if everything in your current life is simple and secure – I mean, why change that?. But, as a very lovely quote from a very lovely book goes:
“Doing what is easy and safe is no way to live, and a life without passion and love is so far beneath what you deserve.”
– Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars
Don’t you see?
Life, when you really live it, happens in those moments where you have to jump, and it’s not entirely certain where you will land or when, or even if you’ll reach the bottom. And that’s kind of terrifying, but it’s called living. And if you choose to close your eyes and scream all the way down, you miss the journey and you’ll hit the ground hard without ever once actually living it or experiencing it.
But if you give it a chance, and you open your eyes and you hold yourself steady and breathe, you’ll find that it is in the fall that you grow your wings. Wings that open up doors and skies and pathways that you never even knew existed so that, who knows, maybe you don’t ever come back down.
And yes, YES it would be easier to not jump: to sit at the top where it’s safe and you have everyone and everything that you know and love; and nothing would have to change and you’d be comfortable. But, my dears, you were not born to be comfortable.
born to explore
A couple of months ago, I went to a talk by Chris Hadfield (Canadian astronaut and perhaps the most interesting, inspiring man on the planet) and I remember at one point he was talking about how we, as babies, learn to walk before we talk. Isn’t that interesting? It shows that, the ability to move and investigate comes before the ability to communicate. Or as the man himself said:
“We need to be able to explore before we can understand.”
Curiosity is built into us from the word go and it is criminal to keep yourself from a world so full of people and places and things just waiting for you to explore and experience, so that you can live a life of “comfort” or “security”. You owe yourself more than that.
So what I’m saying is, sometimes the things that scare us most are the things which we need to do most. Different isn’t bad. Different changes you. Different is what challenges you, what demands that you become the strongest and bravest and best version of yourself. Different forces you to become a bigger person, even if on the inside you feel as tiny as a mouse, because when you see that you can do it once, you’ll do it again and again until this becomes who you are.
I did not find the pieces of me by staying in one place with the same people and the same job and the same life. I found the pieces of me in plane journeys and long walks in foreign cities and southern hemisphere skies and sunsets on oceans. I found them in hostel rooms and conversations with strangers and hidden coffee shops and pages of books. I found them in being alone, in having courage, and in choosing to live a life that confronts me with obstacles and challenges. With “new”. With “different”. You don’t have to travel the world to find this. There is adventure and excitement in the everyday, if only you would look for it.
And, when you do find it, do not fear it. Stomp your feet and stand your ground and remind yourself of who you are, and what you are capable of. Do not ever run from opportunity.
See you all in Mallorca.
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